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i read all these journals that are so well written and detailed and interesting and i am so jealous. freaking jealous. jealous. jealous. jealous. i think that my stuff - way back in the beggining of attymonkey - used to be good, better than what i have become recently. and i can't figure out why. i know that i will never make it in the big-wig world of on-line journallers. you know, for a while there, i tried. i entered competitions and wrote daily, i did nanowrimo and read contests and wrote short stories. and nothing felt or ended up being good enough and then i got busy. busy with this job - that at that time was the "new job", busy with the two dogs and the living with the boy - the first time that i have done that in a relationship, busy with volunteering and family ... busy, ya know what i mean by busy, right? now i feel like i don't take my job seriously enough. my life is a lot less dramatic - although it is still full. and i am bored. again. because that is just how i get. from time to time. so i am, again, going to try to make this journal more of what i want it to be. something that people might want to read. something that might, someday, deserve banners and ads ... ok, maybe not that much. but something better, something more enjoyable. something that makes me proud when i check my stats. proud dammit. proud.
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