Beware the Dog
2003-07-05 || Walk like a man

I have been sick as a dog this weekend.Here we are �. The 227 birthday of the USA and I have a rash on my neck, a fever, nausea, upset stomach and my entire body is in pain.Pain.My kidneys hurt and you know that you are in serious trouble when your kidneys hurt.I feel empty and dry and broken.


I left work early Thursday and to be honest, I was feeling so crappy I don�t remember much of the weekend.I took bendaryl.I have a rash on my neck.I took aspirin for the ached and kidney pain and I slept.When I got up I walked the dogs, my two dogs and the third dog that we are dog sitting.Then I went to feed the cats that I am feeding for B�s sister and picked up the other dog that I am dog sitting.He was at the groomer across from where I work.He was dropped off the day before and my job was to pick him up before closing � 7 p.m.


At 6:30 p.m. I roll up to the groomer.I am a mess.Sweaty and sick and feverish.My hair is sticking out all over the place.I can feel a patch of sweat on my back.I think that I smell sick.My eyes are glazed over and glassy.


ME:I am here for Beau.


HER:Oh.I groomed him but put him back outside because I thought that you would be here earlier.


ME:Why?You asswipe.Why did you think that I would be here earlier?No one said that I would be here earlier.


HER:Well, I wanted to go home and I don�t really ever care about customers so did you think that I would care if you or anyone else lost money on a crappy and dirty grooming job?


ME:Nope.I guess you are right.I should have known.


I took the dog and went home to walk all FOUR dogs.And then try to feed them.Mental note:When feeding A PACK OF DOGS all dogs must be fed SEPARATELY in different rooms with the doors closed.There might be a lot of scratching.Otherwise there will be one fat dog and three skinny ones.


The rest of the night I traded off sleeping, taking bendadryl to knock me on my ass and then out and walking all four dogs.


Friday morning I woke up walked, fed and walked the herd of dogs in my apartment that was growing smaller and smaller by the minute.Went and fed the cats, walked the dogs again � When there are this many dogs in one small area they need to go out a lot so that there are no accidents or ruined furniture, shoes etc.Then I went to my parent�s house.


Lunch.Shopping at Target and then the swimming pool in their subdivision.Moments after we arrive at the pool it begins to thunder, lightning and drizzle.Not pour.Drizzle.My younger (half)sister (6 years) starts to wail like a fire engine.


�I doooooooonnnnnnnn�t wannnnnnna� diiiiiiiiiie.I haaaaaate lightning!�After almost twenty minutesand that many offers to take the girl home my step mother finally wraps her shrieking daughter in a towel and takes her home.Not five minutes later a mud covered boston terrier carrying a tennis ball shows up.Strange for the middle of a lightning storm.I check his tag and despite the fact that we are in the suburbs he has a phone number with a city area code.I call his owners.They are in Palm Beach, FLA on vacation.They ask me to catch the muddy dog which I do and they call the sitter to come get the dog.At some point before the sitter gets there the dog jumps in the swimming pool and as I am pulling him back out the sitter shows up in a bikini with a friend.


SITTER:Oh, Zoli (the name of the dog).


ME:There you go.


SITTER:Have you seen two other dogs?They are missing also.


ME:(Not getting a thanks and losing my temper.)Nope.(Turn and walk away.)


Later on my father said to me:Wow,when you get responsible you get really responsible.


Made me feel crappy.I already knew that I was being judgmental.No matter how much better he and I get with each other there is always something that makes spending time with him suck.I am glad that he is more accepting of me than he ever gas been (It�s about time)but I was never as irresponsible as he thinks I was.I don�t know who I feel worse for, me for not feeling understood or him because I think that he is living in his own crappy lies.


This morning Beau, sitting dog had diarrhea on my neighbor�s gorgeous lawn.I couldn�t get it all with the plastic Publix bag.Gagging and disgusted I made a half-assed attempt.I hope that no one saw me.


This afternoon I am starting to feel better.People at work say I am acting hyper and like I am on speed.I think it�s all the pent up energy.I can not wait to go home, feed cats, feed and walk dogs, wait for the cable guy and work out.


Hope that everyone had a Happy Fourth.

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