Beware the Dog
2003-01-14 || SHUT UP!
Whew. What a pitiful pitiful mess I have been the past few days. As this is the NEW YEAR I am trying to learn more of who I am - something that I have more often than not ignored so that I could instead pretend to be - who I wish I am. I know that AM doesn't fit there but since noone is really reading this and it made sense to me - AM, it is.

I heard myself being so snotty and pretentious this morning and the truth is that I didn't mean to be. I meant to be honest and part of a conversation. But, last night, when I saw "Surreal Life" again with that annoying asshole THE FELDMAN and his whiny ass haing to be cooolnessss ... I saw so much of that in myself and I wanted to barf - and then barf again. I hate thinking (knowing) that my well intended comments seen ASSY. And ASSY they do seem. Who when talking about diets actually gives people their measurements when they know that they are smaller. See, I even sound ASSY here. I really really need to learn to - as Kelly Osbourne would sing, "Shut up." Because now when I talk even I can hear the "Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah."

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