I have been limping for two days because I bought a new aerobics video and I did it barefoot because my sneakers had poop on the bottom of them. And because I am so uncoordinated that the video was impossible to follow in shoes. And almost as bad barefoot. Really Just jumped around and flailed my arms. Now I have two pulled calf muscles.

Last night, I was lying in my bed. High. When I realized that I wish that I was in college again. Not because I loved my school or made any wonderful friends with the exception of my boyfriend. Who I do love very very much. But because I miss school and learning and waiting for something. Now all I have to wait for is another day at work that might possibly suck. Plus there is no way to get rich doing Non-Profit, but really even more so when you are a Volunteer Manager.

My job can be rewarding as all-hell. People doing things for causes that they believe in, knowing that even though it is probably pretty slight in the scheme of things - you are part of making a positive change. That is pretty cool.

But volunteers aren�t paid. Don�t always show up. Get pissed when they are not coddled. Tell me how much I suck, which I did already know and spend at least half my life obsessing over. Yell about changes. Always want things their own way. On and on.

Last night I cried in the living room and yelled in the kitchen. I am tired of feeling like people are always telling me what they want. How they want it done and how much I suck for not doing it their way.

Example:

My Boyfriend: (whining from the kitchen) D, you forgot to rinse your cereal bowl this morning. You know that it is impossible to clean unless you let it soak.

Now, if he had been washing dishes � or ever washed dishes � or if he had then run water in it to let it soak this comment wouldn�t have been so much of a big deal. But did he do either of those? Nah. He just wanted to make sure that I knew how much I sucked.

All my friends are starting to get married and I am lonely. I swear that no one has called me on my personal phone in over a week. Before that only my parents called. That was to cancel plans.

I called my doctor to change birth control pills, I think this one is making me a little emotional.

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before & after