Beware the Dog
2003-07-19 || Hurt and Confused in Atlanta

Yesterday night�s dinner was exquisite.We had a huge sampler of shrimp with wasabi horseradish, tiny, juicy spareribs, crispy fried dumplings filled with spicy beef, gritty, tasty, endamame and rich eggrolls.B had the blackened ahi in a strong, spicy mustard sauce with white rice and I had the spicy butterfish over deep fried rice and sea-weed sushi rolls with a tangy soy, vinegar sauce.Excellent.We had a chocolate souffl� with icecream for dessert and had a bottle of sweet, tart reisling wine.More excellent.I left Roy�s drunk and warm and on the way out there was a man waiting by the valets and we had him take our pictures.I stood on my tip- toes to look taller.


When you walk into Roy�s everyone is wearing Hawaiian shirts.Except for one of the hostess� who was wearing a booty-tight striped, short skirt and a shirt that almost covered her 16-year-old stomach.As you walk in all the waiters say �Aloha� as they pass you, Hawaiian shirts and platters of rich, yummy food.


The waiter spoke to us like we were children or assholes.Assuming that we knew nothing about food and wine � which I really don�t but am a hella� faker � or that we couldn�t read, he recited everything from the menu giving a few explanations of Hawaiian words.He moved away from eye contact with me after I rolled my eyes at him mid-menu.


The restaurant is space-y and airy and I had no idea that it was a chain.It didn�t feel like Mick�s or Chili�s � two of my favs, nothing like a fried green tomato or tuna steak sandwich and fries.It felt nice �. And a little pretentious.


On the way home, drunk and laughing, we started talking about Brandon�s sister and I learned a few comments that she had made about my sister and father.I knew that there had been some at-least-slightly-snooty comments but the more I heard, the more furious I became.I hate to blame it on the wine but it couldn�t have helped.I exploded calling N (B�s sister) names that I would never normally call anyone.Never.


My family has accepted B lock stock and smoking gun and his sister has, since I first met her, alternated between introducing me to people as my father�s daughter and attacked people in my family to B and his family when I am not around.


Furious.No matter how I look at it.I am absolutely furious.Not at B but at his sister.I am so angry that she would say these things � complaining that she and my sister had a class together in law school and that my sister would turn all the way around in her chair and give N dirty looks and that everyone hates my father.My sister says that she and N did not have a class together and that she had never seen her before B and I started dating.


What makes me the most hurt and upset is that she said all this in front of B and his family.Hurtful, cruel.


I have never been good with this type of controversy.I find it upsetting and find myself withdrawing from situations where I feel that I can be injured � emotionally and physically.I feel myself today � sad that I was so mean with what I said last night and upset that I look at B and his family so differently right now.


I don�t like this part of me.

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